WHAT IF…..

Life can be so hard. It can push you up against the wall with so much sadness and turmoil, drama and tragedy till you are not sure which end is up.  Life is also full of beauty and bliss and joy and happiness.  Most days we feel like we are in the middle of the ocean of life, our boat is taking on water and we are struggling to choose the right island to row towards.  I’ve heard it said that HAPPINESS is something we create, but I believe that sometimes our arms can just grow weary from rowing the boat,  and we need a little support, a little push to keep us going in the right, happy direction.

There is cancer all around us, diseases, losses, sickness’ that linger too long and affects the quality of life a person is having.  People with money don’t seem to deal with half the stress the people without it experience.  If you work hard and always try to do what is right, it seems like you just get knocked back on your butt and there is no “Atta boy” anymore.

I recently learned a very important lesson for life and dealing with people. I find it to not only be profound and accurate but it DOES IN FACT help me in dealing with people from all walks of life.

Take a moment and write down the name of a person(s) who has  hurt you, angers you, annoys you, irritates you or just plain fills you with resentment and frustration when you are around them.   Seriously,  sometimes just writing their name could ruin a good feeling for me.

Now ….imagine if you will  WHAT IF…..what if that person(s) is doing the very best that they can .

As miserable as resentment and disappointment and hurt make us feel, we are only fooling ourselves into believing we will feel better by continuing to dislike that person or by talking about them and judging them on their every action or word.

See, we really don’t know people. We assume we do, we even make up our own stories about them in our mind. But we don’t really know them or what makes them who they are and what has transpired in their lives that got them to the boat they are in today.

Judgment and anger take up too much of our emotional well being not to mention our time. Let those people “OFF THE HOOK”.  Stop trying to figure out why they are doing or saying or acting a certain why, stop pushing them or talking behind their back because they aren’t acting exactly as YOU think they should.  Using compassion and generosity will serve all of us better , towards a brighter future.

WITHOLDING AFFECTION WILL POISON THE VERY GROUND WATER FROM WHICH LOVE NEEDS TO GROW.

We must learn to accept people for WHO THEY ARE..not for who they could be, or who we wish them to be. It is a known fact that we tend to judge others in an area where we ourselves are the most vulnerable, or feel not good enough.  We need to practice compassion towards ourselves now and then, embrace our own imperfections, accept ourselves before we can WRITE off other peoples imperfections.  When we KNOW and BELIEVE that we are enough exactly as we are, we are worthy, our stories matter, we will not feel the need to criticize others.

CONNECTING WITH OTHERS VIA GOSSIPING IS NOT A GOOD COMMON DENOMINATOR, IT TEARS UP ROADS OF REPAIR, BURNS BRIDGES.

ASSUME, these people are doing the best they can. If they bite your head off, take something you said or did completely different from the way you meant it…you can apologize but then you have to say to yourself  “This is not about me, John must be having a bad day, a bad week or a bad year.  We don’t have to wait around kicking the same rock repeatedly and hurting our foot. And this way of processing people is not a free card to allow them to continue it hurting us.  Its a card for us to step back and say…..I’ve said or done the right thing . If I assume that he or she is doing the best they can….its liberating to US and our heart and mind to give acceptance for the way things are and move forward.

We need to set boundaries. We need to try and treat people well, be the best we can be, and if we miss the mark apologize, We do better when we know better.

As humans we can get so torqued up over ever little thing. Social media can just about destroy a person if you don’t keep boundaries and integrity in place.  Often times, we don’t know what the other persons  whole story is, what they  may be dealing with today or …what past wounds they still nurse, what they have been told or has been drilled into them. What tragic events have occurred in their past that may trigger anger and hostility in a situation today.

Give people the freedom they need. Just assume they are doing the best they can with life, and walk on. Don’t hang on the mean email or text, or the way they  yell or snap at you.  If they are truly good wholesome people they will come back and make it right…it not MOVE THE ROCK…..stop kicking it and hoping your foot will be able to budge it.   You will merely end up with a bloody foot.  Do your best today, and let GOD have the rest.

Life is too short. AND ABOVE ALL ELSE REMEMBER THIS;

WHEN SOMEONE TREATS YOU BADLY, WORKING HARD TO MAKE YOU FEEL SMALL AND INSIGNIFICATE, IT REALLY IS SAYING MORE ABOUT THEM THAN IT IS YOU.

They see in someone else something they are lacking or something they  wish they had, and they feel the need to criticize, and destroy.   Their fault finding is a lack of examining their own lives, and holding themselves to a higher Authority.  When folks believe in The Lord Jesus, they normally strive to be better people each and every day.  Unbelievers, who are Godless do not hold themselves to any accountability except their own.  Then the world becomes an Adult playground with no supervision. No one recess teacher to keep manners and courtesy in check.