Posted on by farmgal

Home for the Holidays

There is nothing in the heart, that feels as good as being able to go home. To walk through the doors of our childhood home and feel the warm of family.  This Christmas with our 6 adult children and almost 12 grandchildren we were as busy as the rest of the world trying to find little trinket gifts that expressed our love for a reasonable  amount of money. I think we were successful. Each Adult child and Spouse received two gifts and a small amount of cash. Each grandchild received two gifts.

Before opening gifts, we discussed openly what OUR FAMILY believes this Holiday is all about and that is the birth of our Lord Jesus. The baby laying in a manager, who took on human form so that He would grown up and  know first hand all the hurts and pains and heartaches that we humans go through. He had calloused carpenter hands and was a respecter of no one. Meaning He held no one person higher than the other.  Also, before opening gifts we made sure that all the children look around them and understood that the 2nd most precious gift of the Holiday Season was that each one of us were here together . Healthy and Happy.

Santa had been so busy in his workshop. To be honest as a “working Elf” I about sanded my thumbs down to the bone. And when the grandchildren received their gifts, they weren’t as thrilled as they would have been with more toys, but once the day passed and they took their homemade gifts home they were excited.

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There is a photo of our 11th Grandbaby “Norah” laying in her cradle that she will use for her dolls someday.

Christmas at our home was precious, loud, full of excitement and I wouldn’t have traded the day for any amount of money.  The one Christmas party we did attend, left us feeling very broken and hurt. We were invited by my Dad and his wife to come to their annual Christmas Eve Party. Something our family has always done since BEFORE i was born. The parties used to be held at my Dads sisters house, but once all the children grew up the family gatherings wouldl happen at each parents home. My Dad invited us in person on Christmas Eve,  and then He  called us that same afternoon and ask us to please come down.  There are a few “young woman and their mommas ”   in the family that could not wait to make sure that I felt uncomfortable and unwanted.

When we walked in , we stood next to the coffee station. These folks couldnt get out of the room fast enough, not before they whispered and laughed looking at us first.  They ignored our presence with delight. MY oldest Brother was standing in the kitchen chatting with us, and an older cousin “dared” to be part of the conversation. Suddenly two more people walked into the party…and my brothers wife said to her friend “Go steal my husband from that woman”.  We heard her, My brother heard her, and so did my fathers wife. I should have stayed…I should have held my ground. This is my fathers home. I was invited and welcome. But they were so hurtful and “catty”.  I told my Dad we were going out to get something out of the truck and we never went back in.

It was hurtful, and I cried for a little bit…I admit to that but then I got back up on my feet and determined that …………OUR WORTH WILL NOT DEFINED BY HOW THEY TREATED US OR BY THEIR ACTIONS TOWARDS US OR BY WHAT THEY SAID…… but it sure screamed volumes of the type of people they are. Too old to be playing such kindergarten games. I am not my Brothers Mistress….I am his sister.

As crushed as we were, and we both cried on the way home, once I got myself put back together I chose to let GOD handle the heartache. Perhaps one day THEY will be made to feel so unwelcomed in their parents home. Perhaps someone can be so rude and hurtful to them, make them feel like such a nothing that they question why they are here.   But I am not allowed to do that. Vengeance is the Lords.

Sadly, we are not the exception, any more…. this is sort of  the rule now. . So many people endure this type of family gatherings. All in the name of “family” and oh my goodness that FAKEBOOK/FACEBOOK thing is the largest instigator…people are ten foot tall and bullet proof on that thing.

Post Script:  My Dad decided a few weeks later that they were not going to host the Annual Christmas Party anymore. That what he heard happened wasn’t right, and he was sorry it happened and they were done putting up with that kind of behavior. Much to my surprise there was no Christmas Party in 2016.

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