There are millions upon millions of snowflakes, and yet, every one is different. BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE, AND DIFFERENT.
As I am known to do…I take classes on the mind, spirit, heart, body, inner healing etc. I enjoy these classes and find them quite satisfying. This morning, I was shell shocked as I read some statistics that were a part of my lesson.
I use the phrase “America is up to their hipbone in heartache” often, and it tends to cover a lot of how people are feeling with the daily grind of living life in general. Today we had to post some Q & A on the net and over 28 different COUNTRIES were participating in this lesson. Again and again the same “THING” would appear every 2 or three entries. At first, I was like, yes, I am NOT alone, I am NOT odd, there are people out in this giant world that feel the same way I do sometimes.
See, we think we are alone, and we let no one know how we really are feeling inside because its not “fashionable”. I discovered today, that women and men from over 28 different countries all struggle with the same feelings of inadequacy.
Every other entry was someone saying how they felt, undeserving, ashamed, not enough. People were really pouring out their hearts in their small blocks of replies. Some felt they weren’t tall enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not bold enough, not quite enough, not educated enough, not rich enough, not forgivable, not lovable, not smart enough, etc etc.
WOW. I figured that some people might feel that way, and I am very familiar with the feelings throughout this journey I call life, but it shocked me, bothered me, that so many people feel so below “acceptable”, and it stretched over 28 different, countries.
We humans make loving one another so much more complicated than Jesus had in mind. We feel we must toe the line, and be perfect, and jump through all the hoops that others hold up for us. Fall into line the right way or they will stop loving us.
When I do motivational speaking, which I have done many times, talking about the birthing order of our lives and how it helps create who we are, and I talk about the four main personality types. As young people we will be a bit of all four and our lines on a chart would like similar to spikes of a mountain range. Eventually, if we are living and learning as we grow, our line between the four types will level out. Not necessarily straight across the paper, but not deep drops or high spikes. It’s always been an enjoyable time, and folks seem to crave new lessons, brought in a fun, short manner. However, when I end my talk I always say:
“Go out today and tell someone they are ok…that they hit the mark for you just as they are. Tell your paperboy…your children..grandchildren..sister..brother..friend, niece,
..GIVE SOMEONE THE GIFT OF ACCEPTANCE TODAY…JUST AS THEY ARE! Tell them they do a great job, let them know that they matter to you…they are important. They are enough exactly as they are.
No hoops to jump through, they don’t have to earn your love or acceptance. THAT IS THE LESSON THAT WILL REMAIN WITH THEM LONG AFTER YOU HAVE GONE. The acceptance, the approval from someone that they are ok, worth the time, and investment.
I have 12 grandchildren, and I have made it a point to say things like……”Emma you are my favorite Emma in the whole world and I love you. (This also goes for Benjamin, Leah, Savannah, Carly, Allyson, Logan, Matthew, Alaina, and Andrew, Norah and Jacob.) I don’t make a big production of it, I whisper it or say it when we are laughing or playing….but here’s the thing…
It would break my heart and DOES hurt my heart if I hear my children or grandchildren think they are unimportant or that they don’t matter. I KNOW that feeling, I grew up with it. It is a part of my DNA that I wish I could erase, but much like good memories, even the hard stuff stays with us.
If our little Leah walked up to me and said she felt unwanted, unaccepted, or unworthy, I would IMMEDIATELY STOP whatever I was doing..cup her face in my hands and assure her that while I cannot speak for the entire world, IN OUR WORLD she is perfect. She is enough just as GOD made her. I would tell her how beautiful and lovely and special and smart she is and that regardless of what the world may teach or try to tell her…….she is the daughter of the most high GOD, and HE made her exactly as HE wanted her to be, and she is perfect in HIS eyes, and perfect in ours.
None of us are REALLY perfect, we all have much to learn. The hopeful point of our lives is that when we KNOW better, we DO better. We have become a society of “blame vultures” who want to stand and point out one another short comings, especially if they seem different from us, but the truth is, it is not our place to judge. That job belongs to GOD ALONE. We just need to be careful that we do not cause another human to stumble or fall.
This world needs a lot more love and kindness, and alot less judging and “hoop jumping” in order to gain love or approval. We are all IMPERECT…..but ENOUGH AS WE ARE.
RUMI said… SOMEWHERE BETWEEN WRONG DOING AND RIGHT DOING THERE IS A FIELD, I WILL MEET YOU THERE.