It’s funny, no, it’s not. It’s sad that people can spend years with others that they would swear they know. Spend time working together, laughing together, talking, sharing, and still, do they truly understand one another? Allow me to walk you down this pathway.
It’s probably best if we admit out loud, get it out in the open, that we were cheated. Cheated out of a happy childhood, cheated out of a mother or father, cheated out of having a sibling, cheated out of being a parent, cheated out of having a loving, nurturing spouse, cheated out of financial security, and cheated out of good health. This list could go on.
Sometimes, we are cheated by people who intend harm to us, but most often, we are cheated by people who are oblivious to the destruction they cause. People who weren’t taught better, or who haven’t felt that same kind of affliction themselves, to know better.
There is not a man, woman, or child walking on this earth who has not been or will not be betrayed by someone they care about, love, and thought loved them back. Have you allowed your anger or disappointment in someone to fester into a terrible bitterness laced with a “silent Treatment” or harsh words that now sit and eat a hole in your soul? If you didn’t have a loving mother or father, if you were raised in a home full of pain and anguish, your journey to recovery is going to be a long , winding road of discovery.
Childhood is something we literally spend ALL OF OUR ADULT YEARS trying to overcome.
Sometimes, it just takes a real, HONEST conversation with someone that you believe you know to understand why they said or did what they did. Some people appear so strong, fiercely independent, and could whip the world, but inside they are scared and cowering in a corner. But you wouldn’t be privileged to that kind of information if you hadn’t bothered to dig deeper. If you go about your days feeling cheated and angry, you will eventually separate your life from theirs. Distance will grow.
Ask yourself this one important question before you allow the small things to overshadow your love or friendship.
IT IS A BIG ENOUGH HILL TO DIE ON? Is it worth losing what you have to be right?
What a waste to let go of someone you cared about, someone you enjoyed spending time with, because of something you feel was said or done to YOU specifically. Perhaps it wasn’t about you at all. It was about their fears or their insecurities. Taking a moment to sit and talk with someone can make a significant difference in any situation, and possibly in their life as well.
Eventually, we will all grow tired of our own bile, our own bitterness, recognize our shortcomings, and make a difference—a better choice. When we feel cheated or wronged, it can only result in anger and bitterness towards others, and bitterness is a poison that will eat away at our souls.
All too often, humans impose stringent policies on others. “You do as you say, or I am finished with you.” Yet, for us, the rules are more flexible with plenty of excuses. If you choose to discard someone because you were disappointed in the words they spoke, the way they communicated, or the plans they made with you and didn’t or couldn’t follow through on, then do so at your own risk. I tend to believe that all people are flawed, all people walk around with their hearts full of fears and their heads over-loaded with a million things to do at once. Constantly being pulled in twelve different directions. Real love and real friendship will stand the test of time and happenstance. It won’t turn away, but if it does, don’t chase it. Let it go.
FORGIVENESS IS THE ANTACID! Talk to them, share your feelings and your side of the story, and then allow them the comfort and safety of explaining their side of the story as well.
