Many times throughout this crazy vessel called life, we jump on board a passing tug boat, leap onto a speeding jet-propelled outboard, or maybe wine and dine with others on a fancy Yacht. Real life sometimes gets turbulent, and staying above the rising water tide can be almost impossible.
Every single human begins the same way. We are held in a tight, warm environment, where noises are sometimes muffled by the sound of the very water bag inside our mother’s body, keeping us alive. During this period, we float with ease and comfort and feel loved. More love than we can even comprehend.
Then we are pushed out into the world, the cord sustaining our lives is severed, and from that moment on, we never feel that warm, whooshy feeling again. What do you do with your one broken heart? When you feel slighted by a parent, sibling, or someone you have given your heart away from.
We only have one heart to feel with, one heart to love with, and it gets beaten and bruised throughout this journey of Life.
If I could go back in time, I would grab ahold of my young self. I would tell myself over and over that ‘”you do matter, that you do have worth, you are pretty “enough” and “smart enough” to go farther in this world than others would have you to believe. I would strive to be sure that my “young self” understood that she needed to go into every situation standing on my own two feet. Don’t lean on anyone, don’t expect anyone to have your back, and don’t look for others to validate your feelings or emotions. We are all entitled to feel the way we do, and no one human should ever have the right or the power to take those things from us. And, be careful sharing your life stories with people you just met, casual strangers. People need to earn the right to hear your stories, and you need to earn the right to hear theirs, too.
Believing other people’s opinions or compliments about you is UN necessary. You need to know how you feel about yourself. Take stock of all you are, stay humble, but stay alert. Trust yourself and your instincts. You really do have to love yourself or at least accept yourself before you can completely love others.
And I would tell my younger self what I tried expressing to my children and now my twelve grandchildren whenever the opportunity presents itself, I tell them:
“Go well into this world; protect that precious heart of yours. Don’t give it away to the first person who shows up on the scene with fancy flowers or fancy words. Actions will always be the key to who a person truly is. Believe them the first time they show you what they are made of.
When you decide to share your ONE HEART, release it slowly and carefully. Watch the other person…. how they treat others and handle situations when times get tough or life is really kicking them. Pay attention to how they treat their parents, siblings, friends, or co-workers.
Every time your heart gets broken, it will heal, but with every blow, it will take longer to recover, and there will be scar tissue, lots of scar tissue forming around all those cracks.
I want to think that later down the road, with healing, those cracks will make it easier for more love to find its way back into your heart. We all will struggle and work hard to be brighter, better, smarter people, and we will face many opportunities for more heartaches ….until our lives on earth are through.
Hopefully, with time, wisdom, and grace, we will have the opportunity to handle the next situation better and work harder on controlling our emotions and how we respond to hard situations or hurting people.
I recently read that our minds reserve special places to process negative emotions. Yes, you read that right, though I had to re-read it a few times myself. Apparently, negative emotions actually help us achieve enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose because they can keep us safe and alert to danger. Negative emotions are also believed to keep us from making the same mistakes over and over again. (I have to question that theory a bit, I tend to walk around the same mountain too many times before I get smart.) But, they say when we are sad, angry, or hurt over something that has happened to us, we are more likely to fix it and protect ourselves from it happening again in the future.
Without unhappiness, we really wouldn’t thrive or survive. We would become stagnant people, standing in the puddle of our pain day after day, and that is not progress. That is a grave!!!
We wouldn’t grow or change as people, and we wouldn’t look forward to a brighter tomorrow. Without negativity or broken hearts, we probably wouldn’t make the necessary changes to improve the situation, and perhaps we wouldn’t fully be able to appreciate the precious moments when we have them.
Leaves on the trees turn green, then beautiful hues of orange, yellow, red or gold. Their beauty would not return the following year without the old leaves dying at the beginning of winter, so the fresh, vibrant leaves can return for the following spring.
I am responsible for the energy I bring into a room, and it’s contagious. I need to rise above the daily grind of things, take the hits I have coming right between the eyes, learn from them, and move onward.
Stop wasting time on things that won’t change, things that don’t matter and are not worth the enormous amount of energy they zap from my being.
Try Applying the four steps of agreements to every situation.
- Use your words carefully. There is so much force in them. You can hurt or heal with them. It’s your choice every time you open your mouth.
2. Don’t take anything personally unless they speak your name before the sentence. When you take their words into your heart, you become their prey. If you can repel their words while they are shooting them at you, that is a gift.
3. Don’t Assume.
Assumptions cause us to believe whatever we want to think is true. When we assume, taking things personally falls next in line. Take a moment; if the statement is true, let it in; if it’s not true… let it go.
4. Always Do your very best.
Always do your best when dealing with others, though remember that your best may not be good enough for them. Moods change from moment to moment; the mind grows weary, and the body grows tired. Slow down, be slow to anger, slow to get frustrated, and slow to reject others because you have had a bad day.
Live your life to the fullest each and every day; never think you are above anyone else; you are no better than the person you stand beside in the grocery line or at the post office. YOU ARE just as good as anyone else, though, and should never hang your head in shame or try to stay in the shadows of any room.
You are here, on this Earth, at this appointed time for a reason. Enjoy it. With the blink of an eye, a sad, quick blink, you or anyone you love can be gone, gone forever. Do your BEST always…..Even God’s Angels Above can do no better than their own very best.
Go well, my brothers and sisters… out into this crazy mixed up world, and spread love and light, laughter and joy.